those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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