He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
