why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
