I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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