I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
