Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
