I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
