it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
