You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
