I must be too annoying 4 u.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
