He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
