I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
