Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
this just has baby written all over it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
