On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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