he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
