I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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