im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
