someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
