We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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