Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
