fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
