i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
