You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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