I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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