is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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