In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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