the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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