I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
