Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
