Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
