I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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