you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You can't special order awesome
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
