yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
