Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
