In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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