no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
