chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
