This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
