So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
