ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
