So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize