Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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