haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
