I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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