hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
