I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
