Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
