Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
