i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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