I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
