This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
