around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
