You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
