You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize