Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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