If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
