why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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