Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
