Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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