Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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