I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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