he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
