so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
