Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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