For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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